"The worst part about anything that’s self destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive."
Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.
a gif couldnt be more perfect for this post.
Cards Against Humanity.
I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.
It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.
If you have it, open your box.
You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?
Do it carefully.
There’s something in there. What could that be?
There’s a card.
There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.
But what card?
I fucking love these people.
Everything happens for a reason and most of the time the reason is unknown. Usually it’s hard to believe that a negative experience could ever be seen in a positive light but it’s always about the angle from which you view said experience. For such a long time hes been a parasite on my mind… A detriment to my happiness and a void of negativity that seemed to grab whatever came within reach.
I never regretted being with him. Or what happened. Or the mistakes I made. I regretted not being wiser, more observant, and objective but those are things that cannot be changed now. And for a long while, I found it so very difficult to see the positive in the damage we’d done to ourselves. There’s was nothing left to take.
Today it’s dawned on me… He was a stepping stone. A mere segue into a more fulfilling experience full of genuine happiness that derives not from him, or another, but from within myself. I am the light at the end of the tunnel. I am the physical embodiment of happiness… I am the manifestation of true love. I’ve learned to love myself and, through that respect, others as well. I’ve learned to let go and let live… And all these things have prepared me for the next step forward in my pursuit of happiness. He’s taught me what not to do… How not to think… How not to react… He’s taught me the pitfalls of a relationship and how to avoid them. Most importantly, he’s taught me that emotions can be deceiving and that happiness can be just around the corner if you dare to look him in the eyes.
Ironically, through his destruction, he’s taught me how to be happy without expecting much in return from anyone or the universe itself.
Inadvertently he taught me how to love…
And put me in a position where I can manifest the very bond I craved with him, with another who’s better for me, who appreciates me, and sees me for who I am rather than what I’m worth.